At my workshops with leaders when we discuss #inclusion, authenticity and #vulnerability, a question that pops up sometimes is: 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮?

Giving advice to #leaders to simply share their emotions in order to build trust can actually be potentially destructive. 

Researchers* found that in the context of task-oriented relationships, sharing personal information, making oneself vulnerable and exposing weakness can undermine a leader’s authority. It’s important to note though that sharing with a peer did not trigger same negative response in the listeners.

That’s why leaders are in a difficult position balancing between sharing, which builds #trust, and oversharing, which can destroy it. 

In their book “No hard feelings”** the authors share a helpful advice to leaders, which I endorse: 𝙗𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙫𝙪𝙡𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚.

Selective vulnerability is composed of two-ingredients and the best leaders are those who can:

🔹Show vulnerability
🔹Present a path forward

Check out how it could look like in practice and how to build selective vulnerability and I recommend the book for more details.

Does your #organization speak about the role of vulnerability in building trust?

Do leaders in your organization get guidelines to help them to navigate and learn selective vulnerability?

Does the organization provide spaces for leaders to share with their peers? 

I’d be happy to hear what are your experiences

*Source: Kerry Roberts Gibson, Dana Harari, Jennifer Carson Marr „When sharing hurts: How and why self-disclosing weakness undermines the task-oriented relationships of higher status disclosers”

**Source:  Liz Fosslien & Molllie West Duffy "No hard feelings"